


What has got you distraught?

by Missy3000



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Childhood Friends, First Kiss, Friends to Lovers, Growing Up, Kinda, M/M, Moving In Together, Pidge - Freeform, Sad lance, Vague setting, confused keith, happy end, hunk - Freeform, klance, mention of depression, slight angst, they are in luv, together, vague timeline
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-02
Updated: 2019-08-02
Packaged: 2020-07-29 12:01:16
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,894
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20081866
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Missy3000/pseuds/Missy3000
Summary: Growing up is hard. Luckily Keith has Lance, from the beginnig. But Lance grows up sad and Keith grows up falling. And he just wants to be there for him.or: Lance has a hard time accepting his feelings, but will eventually.





	What has got you distraught?

**Author's Note:**

> Hey  
I tried out a new writing style. It still needs perfection, but I am on that.  
I hope you enjoy the story.  
Feel free to scream at me with complaints and compliments.  
Either way, have fun.  
\- Missy

„Keith“  
“Lance“  
That was them. Staring at each other, covered in sweat, hands and feet dirty. The sun was setting, it was late.  
“You're stupid.” Lance had said and Keith had stuck out his tongue.  
“I can run faster than you.”, Lance had said.  
“Prove it.”, Keith had answered, but the bell rang, time for lunch.  
“After Kindergarten, at the playground, just you and me.”, Lance had said and pointed at Keith. He was like one of those gangsters in Marcos movies Mama didn't want him to watch.  
And now the sun was setting. Keith had won. Four out of five tries. Lance felt like crying.  
“I have to go home.”; Keith said and smiled.  
“You're stupid.”; Lance said. Keith stuck out his tongue and left. Lance cried. 

“Keith.”  
“Lance.”  
“Children.”, Pidge said exhausted. Both boys turned to her. “What?”  
“Just stop bickering. I want to enjoy break in peace, for once.”  
“Not my fault Keith is so stupid.” Lance angrily waved his hands around. Keith huffed. “Don't act like you are better then me.”; Lance glared at him. “Stop acting like a child.”, Keith retorted.  
“Oh, sod off.”  
“Children, please.”, Pidge pleaded. “I just want to survive middle school without you too killing each other.”  
Lance crossed his arms. Keith stayed silent. Pidge sighed. “Where is Hunk when you need him?”

Lance cried. He did that a lot lately. But now he cried for a reason. Also it was cold. He should have brought a jacket. His mum told him to, but it would've ruined the outfit. Now he had to suffer.  
“Lance?” He looked up. It was Keith. Keith in his stupid red jacket. No fashion sense there.  
“What?”  
“Are you crying?”  
“Am not.” Lance sniffed.  
“Why?”  
“Middle school ended.”, Lance just said and looked up at the sky. Keith sat down next to him. “Yeah, and?”  
“I liked middle school.”  
“I did too. Mostly. I don't know. It's school I guess.” Keith shrugged.  
“Won't you miss it? I mean there are so many people we won't see again. We will loose a lot of friends.” Lance felt the tears in his eyes and forced them to stay open.  
“Why?” Keith looked at him puzzled. “I thought Pidge and Hunk are going to the same high school as us.”  
Lance looked at him. He really wanted to cut Keith's hair. It had reached a weird length. He could cut it. Veronica had taught him on her barbies. Keith's hair probably was really soft.  
“It is cold.”, Lance said instead.  
“Do you want my jacket?”  
“No, it will ruin the outfit.” 

“Keith.”  
“Lance.”  
“Is that seriously what you are wearing for the first day of high school?”  
Keith looked down on himself. “Why? Is something wrong with it?” Lance groaned. “Everything, my dude, everything.”  
Keith turned red. Angry red. He looked stupid when he did that. “Oh yeah? Should I have tried to include every color of the rainbow in my outfit, like you did?”  
“Would've looked better.”  
Keith huffed. Lance stared back at him. Keith had grown over the summer. He was still smaller than Lance, luckily. But he had also gained muscle. Lance narrowed his eyes. Keith would probably be a chick magnet, that asshole.  
“Lance, Keith.”, it was Hunk. He had a new jacket. A yellow one. Lance liked it. “How was your summer?”, Hunk asked.  
“Dude, we literally saw each other last weekend.” Lance grinned at his best friend. He shrugged. “Thought I could ask. Anyone seen Pidge yet?”

Lance cried. He sat in his room an cried. He forgot why, maybe he never had a reason to begin with. He sighed. Maybe he should do something. Probably should. He could finish that essay for Literature class. Or he could finish sowing that Bandanna for Hunk. His room was so cold.  
“Lance?” It was his mum. “Yeah.”  
“Can you help with the groceries?”  
“Be down in a second.”  
The mirror showed a sad boy. At least he didn't look like he had cried. Lance wiped the tears away and went downstairs. 

“Keith.”  
“Lance?”  
“What is your problem?”  
Keith scrunched his eyebrows. “I don't have a problem.” Lance sighed. “Then why have you've been staring at me.”  
Keith processed his words for a second, Lance could see it. He did that stupid thing where he lightly bit on his lip. “Because you looked sad.”  
Oh, Lance thought, oh. “What? Are you worried?” He tried to tease. Would have worked normally. Worked with his siblings. But not with Keith, Keith was stupid.  
“A little bit.”, he said instead and furrowed his brows even further. Lance's stomach hurt.  
“No need. I am just a little stressed with exams coming up.”  
“Oh, Ok.”; Keith said. But he kept on looking at Lance. It hurt, like little knifes pricing through his soul.  
“I am gonna take a walk. Are you staying? Then I can leave my stuff.”  
“Oh, sure.” Keith looked worried. Lance didn't like it. Looked stupid on him. Keith always looked stupid. Stupid, stupid, stupid. Lance sighed. “See you in a minute.” Then he left the library. 

“Keith started smoking.” Hunk was laying in Lance's bed and looked at the ceiling. It was burning hot and they had fled inside. “Of course he did. Fucking wannabe rebel.” Lance stomach hurt. He drank water. “Smoking causes cancer.”, Hunk said. “Tell Keith not me. Wanna play Mario Kart?” Hunk looked at him funny and for a second Lance was scared Hunk would ask. Ask about the bags under his eyes or why he has been missing class.  
“Sure.”

“Smoking causes cancer.”, Lance said.  
“Hunk has told me.” Keith flicked his cigarette. “Also it stinks.” Lance dramatically waved the smoke away with his hand. Keith shrugged. “You don't have to spend time with me.”  
“True. Maybe I shouldn't. Ruining my reputation anyway.” Lance was angry. Something about Keith with a cigarette felt wrong. He wanted to rip it from his mouth.  
“Well the, fuck off then.” Keith stayed calm. Lance huffed. His stomach hurt. Goose-bumps covered his arms, his nose was cold.  
“Does your mum know?”  
Keith shrugged. “Shiro?”  
“Yes, he hates it.”  
“Because it is stupid.”  
“You are stupid.”  
Lance glared, Keith glared. But Lance gave up and looked at the ground. Only a few weeks left of school. Only a few weeks.  
“Lance?”  
“Hm?”  
“Are you okay?” A punch in his guts.  
“Can I cut your hair? It looks stupid?”, he asked in return.”  
“Stop changing the topic. You look like you haven't slept in weeks.”  
Lance smiled weakly. “At least I won't be getting cancer.”  
“God you are insufferable.”Keith sounded angry. I know, Lance thought. But he only stuck out his tongue. Something felt wrong. Only a few weeks left.

“We made it.”, Keith said and leaned against Lance for a second. “Yeah, we did.”  
“It's sad, isn't it? Leaving this place? I will miss a lot of people.” Keith looked at their old school. It looked weird, empty like it was.  
“Why? You, Hunk, me and Pidge. We will all be at the same university soon. Nothing to worry about.” Lance smiled. Keith frowned.  
“Lance, something is wrong.”  
“Nothing is wrong.” Lance let his feet move through the air.  
“Don't lie to me.”  
“Am not:” His voice sounded so far away. Everything was cold.  
“Lance, fucking look at me.”  
So he did. He looked at Keith and his stupid face, with the stupid worry in his eyes, the furrowed brows and angry voice. Worry didn't look good on him. Lance wanted him to smile. He wanted himself to smile again. He wanted to be small again, just him and Keith and the playground. “I am fine.”; Lance said and his voice broke, “I am fine. I am fine.” Then he cried and Keith hugged him. The sun was setting already. High school was over.

“I have to tell you something.”, Hunk said. They were sitting in their favorite ice cream place just a few blocks away from university, drinking milkshake.  
“I have a boyfriend.” Three pairs of eyes looked at him. “Congratulations.”, Keith said calmly. “Dude, DUUUUDE.” Lance smile was growing. “Since when?”  
“Two weeks.”, Hunk blushed. “Two weeks, and you only tell us now? I am offended. You know you have to give me all the details.”  
Hunk looked at Pidge. He was met with gleaming eyes. “Guess Lance is the only straight person left, huh? Keith is gay, I am asexual and Hunk is.... bi?”  
“I prefer pan.”  
“Pan. Looks like Lance is a minority now.”, Pidge said teasing and grinned. “Now seriously, I am happy for you Hunk.”  
Lance stomach hurt. Straight, he thought, yeah. His fingers played with the straw. Keith looked at him. 

“Home is killing me.”, Keith fell down on Lance's bed. “Same here.”  
“Maybe we should move out.”  
Lance looked at Keith. His eyes were closed, his lips slightly parted, mouth-breather. Lance wanted to cry. “Ain't have no money, my dude.” Keith rolled around to look at him. “We could share a flat. You already working and I just got a job. Could be possible.”  
Living together with Keith, Lance thought, huh. His stomach hurt. Keith looked at him, he smiled a little.  
“You got a job? What idiot hired you?”, Lance poked Keith's side. “The mechanics shop from my uncle.”, Keith said and rolled on his back. Lance didn't see his smile faltering. Instead he pulled the blanket over his body. 

“We should all move in together.”, Hunk said. Lance watched the leaves. Brown and dead.  
“Huh?” Keith wore a red scarf now. He got cold easily. The scarf looked stupid, didn't fit the rest of the outfit, didn't fit with the biker vibe. Lance scowled quietly.  
“Us three, you know. Get our own apartment, eat a lot of ice-cream and survive Uni.” Hunk looked at them. “I mean we all earn our own money and our parents would surely support us.” His voice trailed off. Keith smiled. “Sounds good to me. Wanted to move out for a while now.” Then he looked at Lance. Lance looked back. Violet eyes, stupid, stupid eyes. His stomach hurt, he wanted to scream. “What do you say?”  
“Hm?” Lance looked away.  
“About moving in together.”  
“Sounds good.” He kicked a stone. Keith looked at him. Lance wished he would stop. He looked so worried. 

“Let's go to IKEA tomorrow.” Lance slammed his fist on the table. The milkshake almost fell.  
“What?”, Hunk said between two bites of his sandwich.  
“IKEA, my dude, for out new home.”  
“Heck yeah, so your parents are fine with it?”  
Lance smiled and nodded. “Totally chill. So, me you and Keith, IKEA? Tomorrow?”  
“Yeah sure. Let's go.”  
“Let me text the grumpy Mullet then.” Hunk watched him and ate his sandwich.  
'KEITH'  
'Keith, my dude, my man'  
'We are going apartment shopping tomorrow. I am driving.'  
Then he put the phone away. “Hunk, how about we buy a thousand plant and live in a jungle?” Hunk groaned and smiled and it felt good.  
Keith texted back when Lance was home.  
'Yeah, sure. So you really want to do this?'  
Lance frowned.  
'Of course I do!'  
and then:  
'Do you not want me to?'  
Keith took a while to reply. Lance was cold.  
'Of course I do. You just didn't seem so exited.'  
'Well, now I am'  
'Good.'  
'Good'  
'So apartment shopping tmrw?'  
'Exactly'  
For a while nothing and then Keith texted again.  
'I am happy we'll be living together.'  
Lance's stomach hurt. 

“You guys are going to be such a mess, living together.” Pidge put the box down they were carrying. “But a good mess, oh dear gremlin.” Lance ruffled her hair and smiled. Pidge would have complained, but Lance looked so happy. Hard to destroy that.  
“Lance, these are your boxes.” Keith came up the stairs, two boxes in his hands, hair pulled back in a ponytail. Lance turned around and looked at him. Suddenly his face grew hot and his stomach hurt, like it always did, like it did for fucking years now. “Yeah, just put them in front of my room.”  
He watched Keith, as he carefully put the boxes down, then stood up and swiped the sweat away. He looked so stupid in his black shirt, with the purple bandanna. So stupid. Stupid, stupid, stupid.  
“Lance, can you help me?”, Marco called from downstairs.  
“Sure, just a sec.”  
Lance turned away and ran down the stairs. Stupid, stupid, stupid. Beautiful. 

“So I will leave you guys. Please don't destroy the kitchen.” Hunk laughed as Lance waved dramatically with a white tissue. “I will miss you every second you are gone my beloved friend.”, he said and buried his face in Keith's shoulder. Keith stiffened.  
“Yeah, yeah, see you guys in a week.”  
It was quiet after Hunk left. Keith retorted to his room and Lance stood in the kitchen, looking down at his half finished sandwich. Suddenly he felt sad. Or he felt nothing, just cold. Why did it always have to be so cold?  
Angrily he threw the sandwich away. Tears were streaming down his face.  
“Lance?”  
“Keith, hey man.” There was no excuse, no explanation. Lance cried and Keith hugged him; awkwardly.  
“Lance.” It was late now. Keith's room was dark. Lance mouth was dry from talking. “Yeah?”  
“Maybe you should get some help.” Lance laughed weakly. “Yeah, maybe I should.”  
“I know a good therapist. She helped Shiro after my dad died. I can get the number. We can call together.” Lance just nodded and leaned into Keith. It was warm. Finally warm and safe. It smelled like Keith.  
“Are you crying again?”  
Lance didn't answer. Keith pulled him closer. 

“I will drive you.”  
“Keith you don't have to.”  
“I will drive you and I will pick you up.”  
“Keith, really.”  
But he took his car keys and was out the door. Lance stomach hurt.  
The car ride was silent. “I am scared.”, Lance said when they arrived. “You don't have to be. This is good.”  
Keith took his hand for a second and squeezed it. In that moment Lance wanted to hold on to him forever. Stupid Keith, stupid, stupid stupidly nice. He got out of the car.  
“I will pick you up.” Then Keith drove away. 

“How was it?”  
“Great. She is good. Next appointment is next week. Luckily she had space for me.” Lance was tired. And proud. And confused. He wanted to hold Keith's hand. So confused.  
“Home?”  
“No”  
So Keith just drove. Drove around town. It got late. Lance looked out of the window. And then at Keith who was getting food from a little takeaway shop. His stomach hurt, he had a problem.  
“Keith drove me here.”, Lance had said to the therapist, to Lisa.  
“Your boyfriend.” And Lance wanted to say yes so badly. “No, just a friend.”  
“Fries?”  
“Hell yeah.”  
The lights in the parking lot turned on. “It is late.”, Lance said.  
“You want to go home?”  
“Not yet. But you can. Just drop me of somewhere.”  
“I am staying.”  
So they did stay, in the parking lot. Just for a little longer.  
“Keith?”  
“Yeah?”  
“Thank you.”  
“No problem.”  
The engine stopped and they got out. The stairs were dark. No one turned the light on.  
“Lance?”  
“Yeah?”  
“I am proud of you.” And then Keith slipped into his room and was gone. Lance looked at the door. At least he wasn't sad right now.

“My mum wants us all to come over. Celebrate finishing the third year of uni.”  
Pidge looked up. “Cool. When?”  
“Next weekend. It will be a big celebration barbecue. You don't have to come.” Lance got quieter to the end. “I'd love to.” Lance met Keith's eyes. When did he grow up so much? Why didn't he? He was still a child.  
“Of course we'll go.”, Hunk said, “I'll make a salad.” Pidge nodded. “It's gonna be great.”  
Lance nodded. Yeah, he thought, it is going to great.

“Keith?”  
“Lance.”  
“Why are you here all alone?”  
“Just needed some space.”  
Lance nodded. Behind him he heard his mother laugh. A warm laugh. It was cold, but Lance was warm.  
“Time is weird.” Keith said.  
“It sure is.”  
“Lance?”  
“Yeah?”  
“You're stupid.”  
“Am not.”  
“Sure are.”  
Keith smiled. Warm, so warm.  
“At least I am faster than you.”  
“Prove it.”  
“Five minutes, just you and me, playground”, Lance said. 

Lance lost. Three out of five. He was panting, his hands were dirty, his feet hurt. He was happy. Keith was smiling and Lance's stomach hurt. But in a good way.  
Excitement, nervousness.  
“Keith.”  
“Lance.”  
“I like you.”  
Silence.  
“I mean a lot. I mean fuck dude, I really like you.”  
Keith looked at him, lips slightly parted, mouth-breather.  
“Are you serious?”  
It was warm. The sun was setting. Lance nodded  
Then there was Keith's hand in his own and pulled him forward, making Lance stumble and awkwardly fall against him. Keith laughed and Lance grinned and Keith looked him in his eyes.  
Keith's lips were chapped, his hands were sweaty on Lance's neck. He loved it.  
“God, you are stupid.”, Lance said and Keith laughed, sticking out his tongue. Lance stomach hurt, he could explode. He was so happy, he would just burst and Keith would be so surprised.  
But he didn't. Instead he found Keith's lips again and again.

**Author's Note:**

> DISCLAIMER:  
A relationship doesn't fix your mental problems. Since the story ends here I had not time exploring that further, just so you know.  
However, it may help.  
But, if you need help, seek a professional, therapy did wonders for me. It may not be for everyone, but if you feel ready to get help, just give it a try. 
> 
> I hope you liked the story.  
\- Missy


End file.
